UK economic woes are so bad right now that advisers feel they are either on the Titanic or in some terrible 1980s sitcom, where they are trapped in a nightmare.
These are the views of financial advisers and mortgage brokers, who have reacted to the latest GDP statistics from the government with consternation.
As it was revealed that UK GDP dropped 0.3 per cent in August, and as the Bank of England governor gave a speech in Washington, US, in which he warned pension funds had "three days left", causing sterling to shake and gilt markets to gyrate, brokers appeared to be shaking their heads in disbelief.
Scott Gallacher, chartered financial planner at Leicestershire-based IFA Rowley Turton, said it felt like "we are on the Titanic".
"Some sectors, like Leonardo DiCaprio's character Jack, are in steerage, while others, for now at least, are in first class, doing exceptionally well.
"However, it feels like everyone aboard UK plc is about to sink to the depths, due to the iceberg that is sky-high inflation, the energy crisis and sharply rising mortgage payments.
"Unfortunately, the captain, our chancellor, seems totally oblivious to the obvious danger ahead.”
Although there have been signals from the BoE that it might extend its temporary gilt-buying past Friday (October 14), giving sterling a small rally on Wednesday 12 October, this was not enough to give confidence to advisers, let alone their clients.
Riz Malik, director of Southend-on-Sea-based R3 Mortgages, might not feel he is aboard the fateful Titanic, but he said he suspects he has ended up in a real-life version of Dallas, where Bobby turns out to have been in the shower all along, and this economic meltdown has all been a terrible nightmare.
He said: "Since the mini-Budget, I have gone from being confident about the outlook of UK Plc to being extremely worried.
"I keep on thinking I am in an episode of Dallas where tomorrow I will wake up, find Boris in the shower, and realise the past few weeks have been an exceptionally bad dream.”
Turkeys voting for Thanksgiving
In his response to the GDP figures, chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng commented: "Countries around the world are facing challenges right now, particularly as a result of high energy prices driven by Putin’s barbaric action in Ukraine."
But this did not cut any mustard with Lewis Shaw, founder of Mansfield-based Shaw Financial Services, who gloomily remarked that he felt like a turkey.
He said: "I feel about the same as a turkey does at this time of year. We've got soaring mortgage rates that won't come down anytime soon.
"We've got a doubling of energy unit prices from last year, the Bank of England about to hike rates even further and a possible house price dip. This after two years of Covid, a war in Europe that has no signs of abating and a cost of living crisis that is the worst for a generation.
